Kingdom Hearts: empire records
by ily SAKU
Summary: Xemnas is the boss of a record store named Empire Records. Roxas is in love with a rock star. Axel is trying to confess his love for Roxas. Zexion is rebeling, Demyx is just trying to help Zexy and well Kairi is a whore whats new.
1. Introduction

**Kingdom Hearts:empire Records**

**by: Penguins r hot**

**Introduction: now i'm sure everyone has heard of Empire Records. And if you haven't perhaps you should see it, tis truely a wonderful movie. So now i've decided to adopt Empire Records and change it up so it uses kingdom hearts characters. SO enjoy.**

**Luff from **

**Sesaxfra**


	2. Casting

Title: Kingdom hearts:Empire Records

By: Penguins R hot

Casting: listed in order introduced

Lucas: Luxord

Gina: Kairi

AJ: Axel

Mark: Sora

Joe: Xemnas

Cory: Roxas

Deb: Zexion

Eddie: Xigbar

Rex: Riku

Jane: Selphie

Warren: Xaldin

Berko: Demyx

Mitch: Saix

A/N: if i missed any characters please review and tell me HOARRAY FOR THE REBELLION

much Luff,  
Ses


	3. Atlantic City

**Kingdom Hearts: Empire Records**

**By: Penguins R hot**

**Chapter 1:Atlantic City**

It was currently 12:30 at Empire Records and one of the last two employees was leaving for the night.

Kairi was walking through the employee room when she just so happened to notice Luxord lounging in Xemnas's desk, wondering what was going on she made her way over to the half asleep male, "Xemnas?" she asked pretending she didn't know.

"Kairi" Luxord said opening an eye.

"Luxord" Kairi anserwed, "what are you doing here?"

"Kairi, my life has reached its pinnacle." Kairi simply looked confused. After a slight pause Luxord countinued, "Xemnas is letting me close the store tonight."

Kairi looked suprised, "your kidding!" she said.

Luxord shook his head, "big responsibility Luxord" Kairi said in reply.

"Yes but Xemnas's rules are quite simple. Count the money twice, keep my hands off his beer cigars and drumsticks"

"My, my how will you remember it all?" Kairi asked sarcastically, "don't screw it up!" and at that Kairi left the store leaving Luxord to talk to himself.

"A responsibiltiy like this requires the obedience of a saint"

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Luxord had sucsceeded in breaking all of Xemnas's rules, except for the one about the money. He was shifiting through the stuff in Xemnas's desk when he found a stack of papers.

"Music town franchise option agreement?" he asked himself.

He put an accentrate in front of a picture of Empire. Sighing to himself he spoke, "In the words of the doors: the time to hesitate is through."

He put the agreement and photo away afterwards exiting the store with the 9000 dollars he had counted(twice.)

He was on his way to none other than Atlantic City.

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Luxord was now threading his way through one of Atlantic Cities many Casino's a specific roulette caught his eye as he heard the minder of the game call out, "No more bets,."

"22" Luxord yelled back.

"22 black" the employee announced to the thick crowd gathered around the table who began asking "who was that"

Luxord made his way over to the Roulette table just as the employee called, "Bets, end of roll. New roller. Place your bets please ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets down ... We have a high roller."

Setting the money he had stolen from Xemnas down on the table Luxord fainlty said, "9014 dollars... I counted it twice"

On that note a blond woman attatched herself to Luxords arm cooing, "I like your style"(a/n: the blond woman is Larxene just so you cna get a visual)

"Well Xemnas told me to count it..twice"

No more bets please ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets down, place your bets down." the employee called again.

Luxord who was slightly confused looked at the small red dice, "so i just throw the dice and get a seven?" he asked.

"That would be nice sir"

"Feeling Lucky" Larxene cooed.(ewww)

"I'm guided by a force much greater than luck!"

Luxord rolled the dice which ended up being a seven.

"Seven! a winner"

"Baby your Sex. Larxene stood on her tiptoes and lightly kissed Luxord on the cheek, Luxord blushed. "I know" he declared.

"Same lucky shooter, put your bets down ladies and gentlemen. Hot shooter on the line."

"You know what, let it ride!" Luxord said a grin on his face.

"Hot dice coming out"

"That's an $18000 bet. You sure you know what you're doing kid?" a red headed man asked(Lexeaus or however you spell his name)

"I know this: That if I win this roll I will save the place that I work from being sold, and the jobs of my friends that work there. Thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to live in."

Everyone around him looked confused, rolling his eyes Luxord added on; "and i'll buy you guys a drink!"

Everyone cheered.

"No more bets ladies and gentlemen, get your bets down."

"Xemnas, this ones for you" Luxord said. He took a breathe and threw the dice.

"Two. Craps. End of roll."

"You know what, you used to be cute" Larxene said walking away.

"And you used to have nine thousand bucks" Lexaus said before stalking after Larxene asking for some "fun"(more eww)

"I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this?" Luxord asked himself.

* * *

**A/N: there you have it the first chapter. I think i might update again tonight. I found it quite funny writing this. I'm going to bring some funnier stuff in soon. And Roxy throwing himself at a superstar O.o**

**Axel: no, but Roxy wouldn't ;;**

**Ses: oh he would**

**Roxy: no i would not**

**Ses: i suppose you guys just have to wait and see**

**Larxene: you made me flirt with luxord I'ma gonna kill you**

**Ses: eppppp**


	4. Rex Manning Day

**Kingdom Hearts: Empire Records**

**By: Penguins R Hot**

**Chapter 2: Rex Manning Day**

* * *

It was early morning at Empire Records. Luxord sat on his motorcycle asleep in the side alley-way. Thats when Axel and Xigbar passed by, on their way to work.

"Luxord! Luxord! hey Luxord!" Axel yelled. Luxord woke up looking as if he had been hit by a horse "What the hell are you doing here man?" Axel asked.

"Something happened to me last night...in Atlantic City"

"You went to Atlantic city!" the red head said in odd disbelief.

"WOW...did you win anything?" Xigbar asked.

"No. I did not win. So if you guys ever wonder if it was nice to know you, I tell you now that it was."

"Shit, man. What happened? What happened?" Axel asked.

"I do not regret the things that I have done but those I did not do." At that note Luxord started up the motorbike and rode off leaving Xigbar and Axel looking confused.

"Luxord, how much? How much? ... Shit!"

"Axel, what do you mean by shit? What's up, huh?" Xigbar asked.

"Well Luxord doesn't have any money and Xemnas let him close the store last night."

"So? Heh heh. Oh. Huh. I guess he didn't live up to the responsibility of the position did he?"

"No, not the full responsibility."

"Oh, yeah."

At that point Axel noticed that Xemnas had pulled into the stores parking lot in his shiny mercedes (A/N: SHIIINNYYYY)

"Uh-oh shut up. Hey what's up Xem?" Axel said noticing their boss.

"Hey, Xem. What's up with the 'boss' threads, man?" Xigbar asked.

"Friggin' Rex Manning Day."

"Whats with all the hostility Xem?" Xigbar asked.

Axel smiled evily and burst out in the popular Rex Manning song, Xigbar soon joining in

_Say no more, mon amour ..._

_Lips are for kissing baby je t'adore. Umwah!_

Xemnas quickly slapped both of them and the three countinued on into the store just as the phone rang. Xigbar quickly anserwed it.

"Empire Records open til' midnight this is Xigbar...yeah" Xigbar removed the phone from his ear and covered the bottom part of the reciever, "Xem, its the bank"

Xemnas took the phone and began talking to the bank teller, "yea its Xemnas... are you sure?"

Then the other phone sitting on the desk rang. Xigbar quickly anserwed that one to seeing as Axel had snuck off into the back room.

"Empire...oh sorry Empire Records open til' midnight this is Xigbar"

Xigbar again covered the bottom of the reciver, "Xemnas its the boss"

Taking the phone after hanging up with the bank Xemnas spoke to their boss, "Yeah, Saix, Saix, Saix will you stop yelling please."

Meanwhile in the backroom

Axel was practicing on how he should pretend like he had no idea what was going on when Xigbar entered, "here he comes"

Both boys pretended to be doing something else as Xemnas entered. He went into his office and opened up the safe in which he kept the stores money; a moment later everyone heard him shout, "DAMNIT LUXORD"

-----------------------

Kairi parked her car in front of Roxas's house as her blond friend came running out holding cupcakes.

"Suprise!" he said smiling(yes Roxy has a very girly sense to him in this fic until i can take over and steer him in a new direction)

"What? What is it?" Kairi asked confused.

"Happy Rex Manning day!" Roxas said still as excited as ever. He handed Kairi a cupcake.

"When did you have time to make these?"

"Dad says there's 24 usable hours in every day. Thank you."

"You absolutely amaze me. You are a nerd."

"Thats me" Roxas anserwed cheerfuly.

"So?"

"So."

"So?"

"So today I will offer myself to Rex Manning..." (a/n: bad Roxie)

"Alright...yes"

Roxas just so happened to be holding a record with a picture of Rex Manning on it(a/n: Rex Manning isn't a kingdom hearts character ok were using it as RIku's stage name you'll find out its RIku later k) and at that moment he lightly kissed the record afterwards saying "oh i love you" only to have the record snatched by Kairi.

"No like this" she said and at that licked the rock stars face...

* * *

**Cliffhanger. I know I'm evil so what do you think of the incredible craziness of empire records. Weird huh?**

**Axel: my Roxy loves Riku**

**Ses: yes**

**Luxord: am i ought of the story?**

**Ses: no you get your ass kicked later**

**Luxord: .**

**Larxene: take that card boy**

**Ses: for my next fan-fic i will make Larxene make love to flower boy**

**Larxene: no please**


	5. Rex Manning Day part II

都府(if you can guess what that means i will let you give me an idea for another fan-fic)

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**Kingdom Hearts:Empire Records**

**By: Penguins R Hot**

**Chapter Three: Rex Manning Day part II**

**------------------------------------------------**

"Get your tounge off my record" Roxas screeched in utter horror.

Kairi removed her tounge and evil smile now stretching across her face. She handed the record back to her worried friend.

"Do you think Rex is the right guy for my first time?" Roxas asked.

"I think hes perfect for you Roxy"

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Back in Empire Records Xemnas was rummaging around in the backroom for something he apparently couldn't find. When Axel entered looking worried.

"Hey, Xem?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Can i ask you something"

"Uh-huh!"

"Well you know alot about, love and stuff like that" the red head said moving his hands around in a circle as if he didn't know what to say.

"Oh yeah. My wife left me for another woman, and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint...does this qualify me?" Xemnas asked in a now annoyed tone.

"Oh yeah, definatly. Look Xem, todays the day i'm gonna tell Roxy how i feel about him"

"Uh-huh"

"No, i know what your thinking, but i really am. I've been working here off and on for five years, man, so i've gotta tell him how i feel. I gotta tell him i errr...I errr..."

"Love him" Xemnas replied while still shifting through stuff.

"Yeah, now how do i do that?"

"You say "I love you" what do you need written instructions? If i find that kid I swear I'm gonna kill him" Xemnas said standing up, he was obviously reffering to Luxord.

Interupting his threats Axel said, "Ok I'm gonna tell her this morning"

"Good"

"By noon...definatly"

"Right"

"By noon or one"

"Uh-huh"

"By 1L37 exactly, Xem."

"Well good luck" the silver haired man said heading towards the door.

"Well thank you" Axel said shrugging before heading towards the outside of the store.

--------------------------------------------

Kairi and Roxas finally arrived at the store after much hold-up. As they exited the car Kairi was singing like a lovesick cow giving birth "Don't be sad girl ... Just be glad girl ... You're not a bad girl!" she screeched causing a few hoboes lingering around to go deaf.

"God, remember the first time he sung it on 'The Family Way'?" Roxas asked reffering to Rex again.

"Yeah"

"I got so excited, I nearly choked on a pretzel"

As they were about to enter the backroom Axel came running out looking flustered.

"Happy Rex Manning Day!" Roxas exclaimed with an excited smile.

"You guys can't go in there right now. I've got something to tell you both of you. Listen, crazy news." he stammered while gasping for air.

"What?" Kairi asked.

"Alright..." and at that note Axel began telling them the story about Luxord and Atlantic City.

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By now, Xemnas was getting pissed so he decided to try and call Luxord, "Come on Luxord pick up the phone...anserw buckethead!" he said. He hung up just as Axel, Roxas, and Kairi entered.

"Hi Xem" Kairi said.

"Does he know?" Roxas asked Axel.

"No, so act normal"

"Hi Xem" Roxas said again in an excited tone.

"Whats up Xem?" Axel asked.

"Whats new Xem" Kairi asked.

"How ya doin?"

"Damn!" Xemnas yelled.

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Now, in the main part of the store all the employees besides Xemnas were gathered trying to decide who got to decide on the mornings choice of music.

"Ok lets see who goes first, I got brown anyone got a brown?" Kairi asked holding up a brown M&M.

"Brown?" Sora asked.

"Nope" Axel said shaking his head.

"Orange"

At that note Sora held up an orgage M&M with an evil smile.

"Aw, shit" Axel said kicking the ground.

"Oh no" Kairi said shaking her head.

"Nah-nah" Sora teased as he made his way over to the stereo where he turned on some horrible heavy metal music.

The employees began getting ready for the stores opening trying to avoid listening to the music. In the middle of their duties Axel approached the stereo removing the cd.

"What'cha doing man?" Sora asked approaching with a broom in his hand.

"I'm excersicing my veto, man"

"Yeah, but its only 9 o'clock you sure you wanna do that?"

"Sora, listening to this crap is gurantee to make you sterile" Axel said holding up the cd.

Whilst walking away Sora muttered, "What if i want to be sterile" not noticing that Axel was burning the bottom of the CD with a lighter.

----------------------------------------------

Xemnas entered the backroom to see Roxas sitting there hunched over a textbook. Looking confused Xemnas said, "Roxas what are you doing here?"

"Calculus, I hate it but my dad says i gotta get an A"

"No I mean what are you doing here, your not on until this afternoon?"

"Xem, its Rex Manning day" Roxas exclaimed clutching at the calc textbook in excitement.

"Rex Manning day" Xemnas exclaimned in an extremly annoyed tone.

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Back out in the main part of the store Sora was occupied with watching a popular Rex Manning Video that was none other than "Say No more Mon Amour"

"Lips are for kissing baby say no more" Sora sang into the handle of a broom when Xemnas entered.

"Sora please don't sing."

"You know what Xem? One of these days i'm gonna show you the little people!"

"Yeah, well on that day i'm gonna jump outa my wheel chair and do a dance" Xemnas exclaimed sarcastically.

"Well how about today Xem, Rex Manning Day..."

* * *

**There you have it Rex Manning Day part II. Now as you all may be asking "but Rex Manning isn't even in the story yet. But fear not my fans. You see there is and will be a Rex Manning Day Part III filled with more Empire Records Craziness.**

**Axel: If I hear anymore about this frikkin Rex Manning I'm gonna kill the bastard**

**Ses: no you won't cuz you can't**

**Axel: yes i can, and if i can't i'll kill the author**

**Ses: meep -runs off-**


	6. Rex Manning Day part III

**Kingdom Hearts: empire records **

**By: penguins R Hot**

**Chapter Four: Rex Manning Day Part III**

* * *

As Xemnas and Sora were arguing Luxord just so happened to enter the store.

"Uh oh" Sora exclaimed, which caused Xemnas to catch sight of the blonde.

"Sora" Luxord said.

"Luxord" Sora anserwed with a nod.

"Luxord" Xemnas interupted.

"Xem" Luxord said as if he were excited about something.

"Wheres the money?" the silver haired man asked.

"Xemnas, the money is gone"

"Yeah I know the moneys gone, where is it gone to?"

"Atlantic City"

"Atlantic City?"

"Yeah."

"Is it coming back from Atlantic City?"

"Er, I don't think so Xem"

"Whats it doing in Atlantic City?"

"Um Re-curculating"

"Re-curculating?"

"Uh-oh, are you pissed off, Xem?"

"Luxord"

"Xemnas"

"Luxord"

"Xem"

"Luxord, listen I told Saix you forgot to deposit the money. I told Saix the money was still here"

"Xem, thats not true. The money's in Atlantic City...I swear."

"Shut up. Shut up, sit down and don't move" Xemnas barked pushing Luxord down onto the conveniantly located couch.

"It could be in other cities by now-" Luxord countinued contemplating his thoughts.

"Oh shut up! under no circumstances do i want you to leave that couch. Unless its to bring me 9000 dollars, which you bring here to me. OK?"

"Xemn. I think its going to be OK"

"What makes you think that?"

"Who knows where thoughts come from. They just appear...uh-huh?"

"What a moron!"

-------------------------------------------

Roxas and Kairi were sitting at the front desk when a florist came in.

"You Roxas Hikari?" he asked.

"Yeah"

"these are for you" he said handing him a boquet of flowers.

"Um wow! thank you" he said taking the flowers.

Kairi being the nosy busy body she is snatched the card out of the flowers and read, "To the number one in his class Harvard 1999 make me proud love daddy' how sweet"

"God, nothings ever enough for him" Roxas said pushing the flowers into the trash.

"Aw, no I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. No he didn't -, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that."

"Ummm excuse me?" a customer said intterupting their conversation

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sora was taking trash out to the dumpster. After disposing of the numerous ammount of card board boxes he spotted the picture of Madonna painted on the side wall of the store.

After making sure no one was looking he jumped up so he could reach the lips of the picture he began making out with it, which looked quite disturbing from afar.

---------------------------

Back in the main part of the store Zexy had finally decided to arrive. He walked through passing by Roxas and Kairi.

"Hey Zexion" Roxas said.

Zexy simply flicked the two off and countinued on his way.

"He hates me" Roxas said to Kairi after he dissapeared into the backroom.

"He hates me two, but i have enough sense to hate him back" Kairi declared.

----------------------------------------------------------

Zexion walked through the backroom catching the attention of Luxord who was still sulking on the couch and Axel who was gluing quarters to the ground.

"Hey Zexy" Luxord said.

"Morning Zexy" Axel said not removing his gaze from the carpet.

Zexion ignored the two and entered the bathroom slamming the door only causing them to return to what they were doing when Xemnas stormed in.

"Luxord are you in trouble? Did you need the money? Because if you are in trouble you can talk to me, you know that right?" he demanded.

"Xem, we're all in in some kind of trouble. Am I the only one who sees it? You know, Zexy's in trouble and Axel's in trouble"

"Axel's not in trouble" Axel said as he countinued to glue another quarter down.

"And Roxas is in trouble"

"Roxas is not in trouble-hes going to Harvard" Axel replyed gluing again another coin to the ground.

"Sora's in trouble. Xigbar's in trouble"

"Hey, I'm the one who's in trouble here. Cos every minute that goes by and I don't call the cops, I look like a bigger banana-head." Xemnas snapped interupting Luxords long rant.

"Xem, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana-head." Luxord answered.

"You screwed me Luxord - you know that right? ... What do you want me to do? Call Saix, tell him I lied?"

"It seems like a viable option"

"I swear to god if you are fooling with me i will kill you.

"Hmmmm" Luxord said.

"Axel, I need another closer" Xemnas said turning to the redhead gluing quarters to the ground.

"Xem, I opened man"

"C'mon, i wouldn't ask but i got no choice"

"I can close" Luxord said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I can close. It's cool. They just raised my rent so I could definitely use the money." Axel finally said.

"Well damn the man" was Luxords final comment.

"Oh god, I am in hell" Xem muttered his eyes rolling into the back of his head.

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Zexion was now staring at himself in the bathroom mirror. (he does not have the emo do yet ok) after some time of non-stop staring he began chopping off some of his hair. Eventually he was satisfied and forced a smile at his reflection.

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"Luxord, do you think that it's possible for someone to be in love with someone else and not even know it?" Axel asked.

"In this life, there are nothing but possibilities."

"Well thats good, because I gotta tell Rox how i feel about him by 1:37"

"Thats an excellent time"

The two males heard the door open and looked over to see Zexion emerge from the bathroom.

"Wow...you did have more hair when you went in there right?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's still in the sink if you want to glue it ... Hey, Lucas is it true you committed the perfect crime?" Zexion stated.

"Not entirely perfect."

"You see that, man? ... Hey Zexion wait a minute. What's with you today?" Axel asked.

"Bad hair day" Zexion said shaking his head.

Rolling his eyes Axel stood and pulled down the sleeve of Zexions jacket revealing a bandage around his wrist(eeeemmmmoooooo)

"No this, i mean this Huh? what happened?"

"You know I went to Rock and Roll Heaven and I wasn't on the guest list. Now please move, I've gotta go to work."

"No. Not until you tell me whats wrong"

"I decided I'd rather kill myself then meet Rex Manning. Now excuse me I'm going"

"No listen to me. This isn't funny. I'm not joking. I'm not gonna let you go out of here until you tell me what's going on"

"Mind your own buisness" Zexion said pusing Axel to the side.

"Hes fine, hes amazing" Luxord stated so Zexion would leave and stop being so emo.

"Thank you" Zexion snapped in Luxords direction.

As Zexion exited Luxord said, "and shes in the store, she gonna be OK"

"What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese Guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?" Axel asked Luxord.

"Whats with you today?"

"I dunno" Axel said shrugging.

------------------------------------------

Zexion approached the Cash Register and began typing in random numbers.

"Oh wow why'd you do that?" Roxas asked wide eyed..

"Just your typical nutty teenager in America. Oh! Before you guys hear all about it," Zexion pulled down the sleeve of his jacket again revealing the bandage on his wrist.

"Thats supposed to be a joke right?" Roxas asked.

"No, your the joke" Zexion scoffed.

Roxas rolled his eyes and left the room leaving Kairi and Zexion alone.

"Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behaviour." Kairi said.

"That is so clever. I swear to God you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets"

"And you get smarter the emoer your hair gets so it's probably a good thing you went with that."

"Yeah, you think?" Zexion asked.

"Its a wonderful look for you darling" Kairi replied sarcastically.

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Sora was again caught by the stereo. He turned on Thrash music starting a pit (oh dear sora is ummm out of character) with alot of the customers.

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"Xem, Xem I have to go to the bathroom" Luxord yelled from the couch. However he couldn't be heard over Sora's loud music. Or do to the fact that Xemnas was on the phone, trying to report Luxord's crime whilst getting pissed.

--------------------------------------------

Pushing through the crowd of moshers Kairi yelled, "Veto. Excuse me, ow. Excuse me. Ow ... Veto!" turning off the loud music causing the customers to return to normal.

"Hey, Hey, Hey whats with that Kairi huh?" Sora asked.

"You know it's too early. It makes the customers all crazy-like."

"Thats the point...Xigbar" Sora said to his now approaching friend.

"Fat Cat. What's up dude? I heard your music playing when I got in, man. That's some pretty scary stuff." Xigbar stated.

"Yeah, it was moshy" Sora stated with a chipper smile.

"I'm glad to say I made you a tape last night for educational purposes. Well here's the deal, man. You start off with a little classical music, a little pooky, a little puffy. And then you got some shags on there and residents. A little Floyd and Zeppelin."

Sora was nodding along with Xigbars rambling, "Floyd's very cool" he finally declared.

"And another very cool thing is: I made you these. Now they're my special recipe and you know what that means - lots a sugar. Now Sora, you gotta understand something here. This music is the glue of the World, Sora - it holds it all together, without this life would be meaningless."

Sora took the brownies from Xigbar and then turned his gaze back to the casette tape wide eyed. Then he snapped back to reality. "Dude have you heard about Luxord?"

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"Hey Luxord, man. I heard you like went to Vegas and like married a mobster's wife, and now you've like got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?" Xigbar said as he entered the backroom where Luxord sat on the couch trying to figure out a way to use the bathroom.

"Not entirely true" he answered with a glare at Luxord.

"Oh well, outlaw man. We salute you."

"Thank you Xigbar"

"No problem"

Then Kairi came on over the PA saying, "This song goes out to our employee of the week: Luxord" the song give me money began playing causing Xigbar and Sora to dance like dorks and Luxord to roll his eyes.

"Luxord wants money ... Lots a money ... Xem's money" Kairi countinued.

The music stopped as Xemnas entered the backroom. He picked up cardboard boxes and began handing out papers and aprons to everyone.

"What the hell is this Xem?" Roxas asked.

"Rules and standards for Music Town employee conduct?" Axel said glancing at the paper. "Music town, were not a music town"

"Were not a music Town...yet" Xemnas stated. He gave a few papers to Xigbar directing him to go pass them out to Kairi and Zexion in the main part of the store.

"Well isn't music town a chain? Xem" Sora asked the silver haired man.

"No gum chewing inside the store" Axel read off the rules

"Your turning us into a music town?" Xigbar asked in awe.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Sora questioned.

"Because I was trying to stop it" Xemnas snapped.

"What do you mean?" Roxas said.

"Look, I got together enough money to make Saix an offer. He's gonna make me a partner. I could of bought him out eventually."

"You were gonna buy Empire?"

"Thats good right?" Sora asked.

"That'd be fantastic" Axel exclaimed.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"You think Its' gonna happen now? I have to pay for what Mr. Brilliant here did. Its over kids, Ok?"

"Saix"the man" Xem" Luxord stated.

"Yeah and the man calls all the shots" Xemnas remarked.

"DAMN THE MAN" Luxord shouted.

"Let me explain it to you. Saix's the man I'm the idiot your the screw-up and were all losers. Welcome to Music Town.

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"No visible Tatoos" Zexion read.

"No revealing clothing" Kairi coutnued.

"Were both screwed...but at least your used to it" Zexion said glaring at Kairi.

"No Zexy don't be bitter Certainly with your ever growing collection of flesh mutilating silver apendages and your brand new emo-kid makeover the boys will come a running." kairi stated.

"Let's not fight - let's just rip." at that both of them ripped the rules throwing the scraps of paper over their shoulders.

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Sora was now standing on the stairs overlooking the store talking to himself, apparently thinking about something very important.

"No, we mustn't dwell. No, not today. We can't ... Not on Rex Manning Day." he said to himself.

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Again say no more mon amour was played as the employees set up a table where Rex would be doing signings and fans lined up when Luxord who was still sitting on the couch spotted a young boy running a magnent along CD's.

"Xem is it Ok if i leave the couch Cuz i'm gonna leave the couch nowk my ass is falling asleep Xem, i gotta go I'm leaving..." Luxord stated as he stood removing a cushion from the couch and walking out into the main room.

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Sora spotted Luxord leaving the back room and approached him, "well at least you didn't leave the couch" he laughed.

"Not the whole couch" Luxord corrected him.

"Oh! I've decided I'm gonna start a band." Sora said changing the subject.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

"The first thing you need is a name - and then you'll know what kind of band you've got."

"I was thinking about calling it Cora(pronoucned sorta like an S) how about that?" Sora asked.

"Is that with a C or and S?"

Looking at his name tag Sora said, "Well my name starts with an S so how about with a C"

"Always play with their minds" Luxord said before making his way over to the boy who was still running the magnent over the top of the cds and slipping them into his jacket.

"Nice selection" Luxord said raising an eyebrow to the boy.

"What?" the boy asked.

"need anything?"

"No i'm alright thanks?"

"You like music?"

"Yeah"

"Me to" after pausing Luxord then stated, "the fat man walks alone"

"What? Stop. What are you, some kind of weirdo?"

"thats a nice coat your wearing, lots of pocket space"

"Yeah ... see ya." the boy turned and walked off. Luxord followed but took the back exit so he could catch him easier causing Sora to screech.

"SHOPLIFTER"

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Luxord began chasing the boy through the streets until he ran through the back entrance of Empire past Kairi and Zexion when Kairi asked.

"Isn't it customary to leave the scene of the Crime?" recieving a nod from Zexion.

"Definatly an ammateaur" Zexion stated.

Kairi grabbed the PA and instantly began to announce. "Attention Rex Manning fans if you look to the left you will see a shoplifter being chased by none other than our night Manager Luxord. This young man will be caught, fried and served in a vat of hot oil to our first 100 customers just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records."

Putting away the P.A. Kairi recieved a snorting laugh from Zexion.

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Luxord countinued chasing the boy until he broke into a truck opening the door just as he walked by. Causing him to fall over.

"Oh shit" he yelled.

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Finally after much anticipation from fans Rex Mannings car pulled up behind the store. As the famous star climbed out he complained to his lacky Selphie.

"He cut it to short" Riku(we will now be reffering to Rex this way becasue thats his real name) said pointing to his log silver hair.

"Its fine, really its fabolous" Selphie said trying to cheer up her boss.

"Oh god" Riku exclaimed eyeing the store.

"what?" Selphie asked.

"Look at this place."

"Come on Ri there is no gig to small alright. Middle America buys your records, now come on, we got a lot of fans waiting in there." Selphie said pushing him towards the entrance.

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Xemnas was now on the phone with the police, reporting the young shop lifter.

"Yes this is Xemnas from Empire Records reporting a shop lifter in custody. Yes How old are you?" Xemnas asked the boy.

"Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter your brains on the wall" the shoplifter said.

"Yeah hes juvenile alright" Xemnas said into the phone.

"Whats your name"

"Xaldin" the shoplifter declared.

"Ok Xaldin stand up I want you to hold these against your chest, stand against the wall and they're gonna take a photograph of you." Xemnas said holding the CDs out to Xaldin.

"Why don't you shove 'em up your ass?"

"because it would hurt alot Xaldin" Luxord stated pushing Xaldin towars the wall.

Kairi then entered wearing only the music town apron. "And they said no revealing clothing, didn't they? I think Music Town is actually torn on the revealing clothing issue. I think so." Kairi said wagging a dissaproving finger.

Luxord covered Xaldins eyes only to have them removed by the goggling juvenile.

"Revealing clothing" Roxas said in a squeaky voice as he turned on the radio.

Kairi hopped on the couch and began dancing in an inapropriate manor when Rex and Selphie entered.

The music stopped and Kairi stepped off the couch.

"Welcome to music town, I'm Kairi how may i service you" she asked.

* * *

**There you have it the next part in the trilogy of craziness I'm done for the night. G'night.**

**Axel: finally no more tourture**

**me: arggggg**


End file.
